Asianese Please

Unskinny Bob’s. No. We were not being impolite; this was the club we were to frequent Dubai and I. After a short tube ride, we arrived a bit astonished; more specific, I arrived astonished. At this quasi-rickety nouveau-chic, East-End building, we confronted a queue that hugged the corners of the sidewalk. A part of my initial anxiety was lifted as Dubai was again greeted by warm coterie of 80s-fashioned Asian women.

Asian women are fun.

There was one whose countries of heritage did not match her ethnicity. She would be our main liaison for the evening. Polish bred, Swedish-raised, with Surinamese siblings. Yes....of course. How 2008. Given London’s relatively lax open container laws, cider was purchased and shared in line. We spent the next 40 minutes or so discussing London, Dubai’s accidental non-Scandinavian birth, and Lego earrings. The latter of the conversation was not well-received by the wearer, as she thought of this as essentially de rigueur for any posh Londoner on the scene to don any manner of 80s children’s toys or other pop icons of that era.

12:04am

The door guy (for he was not the bouncer) was this emo-sque, cardigan wearing gentleman with equal hefty helpings of tattoos and piercings of most visible skin and/or cartilage. He reminded me of an unfortunate malnourished mule given his wild shock of red hair.

“Unfortunately, we will not be able to let you in. Please don’t make this more difficult than it has to be.”

These were the words that he related to the trio of young women just in front of the Asians and myself. The protested, cajoled, and huffed with arms crossed then waving in a manner similar to the taxi driver from that morning at the Paris airport.

Def-eat-ed.

No worries though, the scene and the company alone was more than enough to satisfy the trip for me. Dubai related the proper British use of “twatting it up” as it related cogently to our company. Thus, we left all the Asians, who were formulating (far too slowly) plans for later. Our plans for later included walking to Dubai’s neighborhood now.

My astonishment found new home in Dubai and his Polish/Swedish friend. It is impossible, as Dubai intimated, to do anything spontaneously in London. This served in stark contrast to my experience in Paris where it is impossible to anything with any level of planning. Dubai apologized for unnecessarily and we instead decided to eat some Asian food.

The restaurant had some amazing music but was located in the basement for unknown reasons. Dubai, and moreso myself, found nothing edible, but dabbled, lived in the moment and left. The rest of the evening can be summed as follows:

Walk, gasp at queue, walk gasp at queue, walk....

It was GREAT. My people watching was on hyperdrive and I learned all about the Asianese subcultures and scenes. There is apparently an incredible diversity. We arrived at Dubai’s postcard-festooned flat, had warm red currant watched the Office and various other Amerovision programming and passed out.

It was the most beautiful, merciful, and replenishing sleep EVER. Dubai has a cozy-spare bedroom with a equally cozy down comforter. After a 10 hour flight, a two hour train, and a total of three countries in 24 hours, IT WAS BLISS. And off I slipped to dreamland.