Holographic White Jesus

Admittedly, I am no stranger to Catholic-kitsch. Anyone who has visited mi casa is greeted at the door by the fragrance of votive Neustra Dama de Gaudalupe candles and a washroom replete with my favorite quasi-Coptic icons. But I was accosted by a new level of kitsch at the house that the Báez family and we gringos were crashing in, in beautiful Las Tablas.

Upon the oppressively orange walls hung Holographic Jésus. You move your head back and forth and so does the Divine Shepherd.

Now I’ve seen floating baby Jesus, Black Jesus, action figure Jesus, neon Jesus, and a personal favorite Jesus-drives-a-Chevy Jesus, but for the first time, I have witnessed a holographic, pseudo-three dimensional framed representation of Western European Last Supper Jesus. Now, first off as a disclaimer, its clearly historically inaccurate that Jesus of Nazareth would look remotely rubio seeing as those Homeboy is from pre-Arab...Nazareth. As such, I’m never a fan of Scandanavian impressions of the carpenter’s Son. Similarly, the intelligently satirical comic “Boondocks” has cleverly referred to this image of the Son of God as 'White Jesus.' We will referred to this thusly as Holographic White Jesus.

Holographic White Jesus, this is coolest White Jesus I’ve seen to date and am dying to know where I may also purchase the aforementioned depiction of that Temple Rabble-rouser. After much continued discussion between BCM’s finest future psychiatrists, we’ve clearly adopted this as a new mission. Wish us luck.