Gettin' all Cruise Crazy

According to my countdown widget I have exactly 35 more of these beautiful sunsets before I take that comparatively nefarious USMLE Step 1 test. Normally having the aforementioned amount of time would seem like an eternity before a test. Longer than the last 25 minutes before "the student can leave," longer than the remainder of Bush's Presidency, longer than medical school. But having to know the vast sum of Basic Sciences or the 1.5 years of medical school in this amount of time seems a bit ridiculous (not Pat Robertson-ridiculous but ridiculous nonetheless). The Boards as they are called can be summarized in the words of my SAT proctor, "This is most important exam of your entire life kids, the one that will determine where you go and what you do....but don't be nervous!" Add to these words light and blithe laughter from the proctor and horrified and acned expressions from the students. Now fast forward eight years or so, subtract the acne and add equal parts uncomfortable laughter and expressions and voila. Test prep 2006.

I'm more nervous than Ambramoff's Republican friends. I know this.

Every night just before my eye shut, visions of a tearful Match Day, specialties of family medicine, or God-forbid residencies in Idaho abound. What will I do? What should I do? I should be sleeping I should be studying! What was that Cori cycle pathway? What was that inhibition by cipro? Oh, man I can't even begin to think of the Fragile X's facies!

After a cold, frightening, and irrational 20 seconds I pause.

...

Like Abramoff's friends I think "Dumb-ass. Chill the hell out. I already paid everyone off."

There is NO way I will know everything. There is no way anyone will know everything. I have more than enough time if I pace myself and not entangle myself in a myriad of details. Schwew. Off to sleep.

These are rough times, and there have already been sanity casualties, but clearly I won't be one of them. I went to the driving range the other week with my bestest Morehouse buddy Dowin to let off a sufficient amount of steam, and just yesterday I saw the very campy film Camp chez Amy. So alas, I should probably be more alarmed at Iran's...ahem...Ahmadinejad's insistence on nuclear arms...er....energy. Doesn't Condi look all authoritative with her Dr. Evil suit.